bastards of young

Ah, May. It’s that time of  the year when it’s becoming more practical to wear shorts and when the remains of my innocence are lost forever. LOL!!!1!

Since my return to Facebook, I’ve quickly discovered how much I had missed in the 6 months hiatus. Particularly how what few remaining friends I had in Kutztown have graduated. I remember when some of these people were barely Sophomores, and now they’re adults! Hell, one of my ex-girlfriends even got her Masters degree. Yet I can only envision her as the 18-year-old freshman who had yet to understand the awesome power of indie rock. Kids those days… pfft.

What I’m trying to say is that those people remained my one link to the days when I didn’t have to care about anything, and when college felt like it was going to last forever. And now that they’ve moved on, it’s become a bit harder to reminisce. I can’t go back to Kutztown party like the good old days, especially now that my old apartment complex has become a virtual ghost town (the management at The Cliffs forgot that new apartments across the street > shitty old apartments that haven’t been upgraded since the 1970’s). But then again college parties feel more overrated the older you get. Just a few weeks ago, my old room mate and I schooled a pair of frat boy stereotypes in beer pong. Here’s a hint guys: backwards hats and polos do not make you a better player. That’s the problem with people under 21… they’re all talk.

But like high school, I wouldn’t want to go back to college. Particularly in the year and a half after Krista, I felt this sense of dread every day. Like when you know the world is going to end and you don’t feel safe or happy, so you make out with lots of girls and break lots of hearts and you fail Geology class and for some reason you can’t stay healthy (probably due to the weird mold growing in the corner of your room in the apartment that hasn’t been upgraded since the 1970’s) and you drink shitty beer not to be ironic but because you actually like shitty beer and you have chronic panic attacks AND YET SOMEHOW IT WAS THE BEST YEAR AND A HALF OF YOUR LIFE.

That shit was exhausting/confusing!

But now here we are, two years later and I’ve become a relatively productive member of society. I work, I buy stuff, I pay my taxes, I play Batman on my XBOX. On paper, it’s barely an improvement over the average college kid’s life. But my mentality is completely different. It was comforting to know that I could go back to the old days… and now they’re gone. I’m not sad, but it feels weird. It’s like the dawning of some crazy era where it’s no long socially acceptable to slide down a flight of stairs on a mattress.

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