viva hate

So I was thinking.

Everybody likes things. That’s how people relate to each other: by discussing and/or doing things they like. But I will bet you that you could relate to a person better by discussing the mutual things you hate. Not dislike, but hate. To dislike something is to tolerate it, but avoid it whenever possible. If you hate something, you want to banish it to one of Jupiter’s moons. I gave it some thought (about five minutes) and I came up with the following list.

Things That I Hate

by Ben Friedman

Age: 24

  • quiche
  • Michael Bay
  • Stephanie Meyer
  • garden spiders
  • 8th graders
  • 24-hour news networks
  • Facebook apps
  • people who say, “What’s wrong?” to me when there is nothing wrong
  • grape flavored products
  • Pennsylvania drivers
  • Pennsylvania
  • Kutztown Greek life
  • challah that is way too eggy
  • Confederate flags (the South isn’t going to rise again)
  • Most of the top selling songs on iTunes on any given week
  • VH1
  • Anything on E! that isn’t The Soup
  • politicians
  • people who say that they are feeling “emo” when they are sad (sad being used in a broad sense, since they are probably upset about something stupid)
  • newspapers, re: the lack of any sort of business plan and the mass layoffs
  • Morrissey canceling shows for dumb reasons
  • Weezer’s output for the past four years
  • The Dallas Cowboys, Philadelphia Eagles, and Washington Redskins
  • bartenders who ignore you (while you are waving $20 in their face)
  • the radio
  • horror movie remakes/sequels to horror movie remakes
  • writing poetry
  • being forced to try new foods
  • The Simpsons, seasons 11 to present
  • the fact that Daria isn’t on DVD
  • manga comics
  • watching Jason Bateman act in mediocre movies while the Arrested Development movie is in development limbo
  • the feeling you get when you realize that you are the only Smiths/Morrissey fan that you know of

Now, I know this make me look like some sort of curmudgeon, but I assure you all that there are plenty of things in this life that I find quite enjoyable, such as… um… uhhh… why don’t I get back to you on that one?


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