go forth and die

Earlier this evening, I was contacted by Kutztown and was asked to do a “survey”. And at the end of this “survey” (which meant absolutely nothing and merely served as a transition into the real question) she asked me to donate money. How much money? $350 to be exact. I don’t even have $20 in my bank account right now. I politely declined, pointing out that my degree was useless and I can barely get my car fixed. And that was that. I returned to watching Wheel of Fortune and screaming at the t.v. (“Quilted Handbag”! Who the fuck would’ve guess that?)

And then I came across something interesting. And by interesting I mean infuriating. Courtney sent me a link to a website (studentsreview.com) that polls college graduates about their satisfaction with their alma mater and how their degree has made a difference in the real world. Here are some numbers:

  • 50% of those surveyed are currently unemployed
  • 50% of those surveyed said that their KU education contributed in no way to their career
  • KU sports a 28% matriculation rate (meaning only 2,800 of the 10,000 students will ever finish)
  • The average salary of a KU alumni after 10 years is $56,667

There are a few things that factor into these findings. One, I have never even heard of this website and can’t really judge how legitimate it is or how they put their numbers together. Two, it’s fucking PA. It’s middle America. Not only are jobs scarce out there, but $50,000 in the Lehigh Valley goes a hell of a lot farther than it does in Monmouth County. Three, it depends on what your degree is in, which is a huge factor. Take Professional Writing for instance. There are lots you can do with a PW degree, provided that it’s 1999 and people still read newspapers. After reading the information, I switched over to The Princeton Review and see what they had to say. And it really wasn’t any better.

But in the end, for what it’s worth, these numbers are fucking pitiful. And they’re asking me for money? Why, so that more than half of the fucking degenerates who go there can drop out? And so that the university can serve sub par food for prices that toe the line of extortion? And so they can inadequately prepare students for a constantly changing environment?

Yeah, deep down I knew that KU was just another dime a dozen state college. But I keep thinking that maybe, just maybe, that didn’t matter. I had great references. I had countless hours of (what I thought was) relevant experience. And it pretty much amounted to nothing. Though job prospects are looking better, none of them involve writing in any way. This blog is more or less the only fruit of my labor. Well this, and the yellowing newspaper clippings of articles that I wrote for the newspapers I worked for. Perhaps I’m not trying hard enough, or maybe if you live in PA it’s easier to find a job with a degree from Kutztown. But all I know is that out of all my Professional Writing brethren, very few of us have found a career.

This however, inspired me to start building a time machine… there was a review on the site caught my attention, and it summed up the KU experience better than I could have said myself:

This is not a university. It is just a drunk student town.

“Go forth, be conquered. Go forth and die.”


1 Comment

Filed under beating a dead horse, complaining

One response to “go forth and die

  1. I completely understand. I got an English/Writing degree from La Salle in Philly and wasn’t able to find a job in editing/publishing without moving to NY. And it does irk me when they would send out those surveys too and pleas for donations. As if I wasn’t still paying off my student loans.

    By the way, I went to KU too to get my teaching certificate, not in English but in art education. You would have thought that I had learned about getting another degree in a flooded profession.

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