more like jimmy faillon, amirite?

Like many Americans who can’t sleep until 2 a.m. I had a morbid fascination with Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. After watching the first 15  minutes, I decided that dead air, cancer, and Carrot Top were all funnier than the abortion that is LNWJF. Now it may be unfair to criticize the show after one episode. After all, Conan got off the a rough start for the first two years. The main difference however is that Conan had absolutely no live television experience at the time. He gets a free pass. But Fallon has no excuse, being that he’s been in starring roles since the late 1990’s. He should know how to be funny and comfortable in front of an audience. Which brings me to another point: Fallon cannot compete with Conan’s swagger. Conan was very self aware of how awkward and outrageous he was, and then built a t.v. persona around that. That’s why when he dressed as a pimp or hit on supermodels, it was funny. Fallon just comes across as stiff and uninspired. And he can’t ad lib for shit.

And the skits… there is just no comparison. Fallon first skit was about target demographics, specifically blonde moms from Connecticut. What should have been a clever satirical jab was instead one long non-joke that had no reason to exist. There was literally not one joke to be found. By the time he introduced a game where he pays audience members to lick random objects, I was done. 

The only funny part of the show was at the very beginning, where Conan was packing his things and had an awkward exchange with Fallon. The skit basically made fun of the fact that Fallon had a very tough act to follow. It was delightfully sardonic. And it was very fitting. Fallon better pull something funny out of his ass quick.

I cannot wait until June when the unstoppable comedic force that is O’Brien-Richter crashes Jay Leno’s boring ass tea party in L.A. and lets loose a masturbating bear and a projectile vomiting Kermit the Frog during prime time. 

On a completely different note, I went sledding for the first time in years today. Jess and I used my dad’s old Flexible Fliers on a big hill at Holmdel Park. She beat me every single time and I fell off once, again proving that I cannot be taken anywhere. Embarrassing pictures to come.

Since my free time is starting to wind down, I’ve started a project entitled, “My Big Fat Indie Dance Party”. Plans should be ironed out by the end of March. Fun times ahead!

 

joel1

I think I’ll miss you most of all, Joel. I hope there’s plenty of underage Japanese boys wherever you are…

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