education in reverse

 My brother dropped out of college yesterday. This comes as no surprise since he literally drank every night, or so I was told. For those of you know don’t know, he went to Kutztown University under the pretense that he would actually try to apply himself. He even went after my sister and I told him how miserable we were and that the Friedman kids were too cynical and too critical of other people to function in Amish Country.  But my brother, in his infinite wisdom, ignored our pleas and I sucked up my pride and helped him move into his dorm.

And then it all went downhill from there.

His problem isn’t so much that he’s not smart, but he’s lazy to a fault. Case in point: He got busted for drinking a few weeks ago, and all he had to do was write a 1,000 word essay about why drinking is bad. Any reasonable person knows that alcohol is the greatest invention in the history of civilization but my brother should be willing to humor Kutztown University. So instead of being a college student and bullshit the paper, he writes 460 words and submits it. Being the sane person that I am, this both dumbfounded and angered me.  I offered my help but he didn’t want it. Instead, he’s going to put it on permanent hiatus (like most of the things he starts) and his transcript will be frozen, which means my parents spent $13,000 for nothing. Can’t wait to have him home.

 As I write this, someone who is my “friend” on Facebook decided to quote Eve 6’s “Here’s to the Night” to commemorate his graduation from Kutztown. And now I think I’m glad my brother doesn’t go there any more.

 ANYWAY, this has been a good week for me at least. I finally went to the New York Public Library on Tuesday. I figured I owed it to myself to go as both an English major and a Ghostbusters fanatic. The architecture was in fact stunning, and there was an exhibit about the Yaddo retreat which was equally captivating. I met up with Chris and we went to this tavern on Barrow Street where I finally realized that NYC no longer intimidates me, which means I am probably ready to move up there… once Jess and I get jobs that is. (P.S. Would anyone like to give us job, please? We’re really smart and we don’t smell) Once I get Later that evening  we saw Stella at the Nokia Theater and they were funnier than I could have possibly imagined.  A bearded and bespectacled Paul Rudd showed up in the middle of the show which pushed the evening into immortality. I’m really looking forward to going back to the city on Friday when I can see the tree and get wasted because let’s face it people, drunk is the new black.

Lastly, Jon Stewart broke the news that newspapers are, in fact, in a flaming downward spiral. So much for my “relevant experience” in college.


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