two of the most important things: breakfast and family

This is my great-great-great grandfather, Simon Selsman:

simonpollackselsmanCan you see the resemblence? And notice the bad-ass Jew beard… that’s how they get shit done in Russia.

Then there’s his son Rueben, seen here:

youngreubenGreat moustache. It’s obvious where Tom Selleck got the idea to grow one from.

Anyways, Rueben begat Abraham (seen pictured with my Nana!!!):

abrahamsidWe Jews are classy. Fun fact though… Abe’s sister Molly made really high quality stuffed animals. Here’s an example:

mollys-amazing-talentWhen I was born, she gave me the red monkey. Thank God it wasn’t a clown.

So then Abe and Sadie had my grandma Phyllis:

marv-and-phyllis-friendmanMy grandparents married at the age of 20, and currently bust my balls to no end about being 23 and not having a nice Jewish girlfriend.

So of course, my grandparents had my dad and blah blah blah you know the rest:

robert-friedman_the_fam_on_vacaAs you can see, Jake and I are too cool for this family shit.

And that’s just half of my dad’s side of the family… I can’t imagine how much more Hebrew it can get!


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