Bees have taken over my room, and they are pissed.
Those of you who know me are well aware of the never ending series of shenanigans I get myself into, much of them akin to sitcom story lines. But last night’s incident takes the cake, hands down.
I got home from a standard night of drinking heavily with Jess and Britney around 3 a.m. when I noticed a loud buzzing near my window…
“Oh look, a bee.”
10 seconds later…
“Oh look, two bees.”
20 seconds later
“HOLY SHIT WHERE DID ALL THESE FUCKING BEES COME FROM JESUS CHRISTMAS!!!”
At the 25 second mark, I was already in my parents’ room flipping out like a meth addict. I had to spend the night in my sister’s room (which was vacated) while the bees calmed down. I awoke to the sound of wasp spray coming from my room around 7, which is way too early to be doing anything bee related. My dad tried to patch the the hole in my ceiling (where the little bastards were coming from) when his entire fist went through it, effectively punching the hive. My guests were not happy.
300 dead bees later, I can still hear the buzzing in my ceiling. They are probably mourning their dead brethren, who are currently scattered about on my floor. We called an exterminator and he said that these were yellow jackets, and the reason that portion of my ceiling was so weak was because the moisture from the hive dampened the area directly beneath it. So at 3:30 tomorrow afternoon, my room will be fumigated and the bees will be no more.
My mom told me that bees get crazy this time of year because they know the first frost is coming (which is certain death) and they just start fucking people up. Can you imagine the bees collectively realizing their fate, and in one final act of beeness just start terrorizing whoever they see fit, a la Michael Douglas in Falling Down ? Those little kids playing soccer have all of those delicious oranges, and Seinfeld be damned if anyone is going to get in their way.
Fuck my life.
I will however be downloading and playing the fuck out of this game tomorrow: