things that are annoying me at the moment

Nicholas Sparks

In case you’ve been living in a monastery in India, this ass clown is the author of about a dozen incredibly sappy novels about love and death, because apparently women don’t understand any emotions other than the ones that come from falling in love and losing someone. It’s a little biased to knock his work, considering I haven’t read any of it. However, four of his books have been adapted into movies, the most infamous being The Notebook, which I am sure many a boyfriend has been forced to sit through. What annoys me is how utterly ridiculous the story lines are. For example (one that is used ad nauseum I’m sure), Ryan Gosling builds Rachael McAdams a house because he’s madly in love with her. In real life, that would be downright insane and a huge gamble. But in Hollywood, men must go to great lengths to prove their love. I swear, his movies are so sappy you’ll walk away with Type 2 Diabetes. What Sparks needs is an old fashioned beat down. It doesn’t have to be a spectacle; getting jumped and beat within an inch of his life in a back alley would suffice. Maybe then he’d realize that life is pretty cruel and not everyone dies of either old age or a mystery illness.

Girls who follow sports for the players, not the games

Let’s face it: sports are an inherently manly thing. I don’t mean to sound sexist; I fully support womens sports. But nothing is cooler than being able to watch sports with a girl who completely understands the game. It’s like finding an endangered condor and it’s wearing a Carlos Delgado jersey. I once dated a girl who, despite being an Eagles fan, I could watch football with and carry out football related conversations. Plus, it was oh so sweet watching her face last season as Big Blue repeatedly pounded her team. But there are some girls, and you’ve been in the presence of one of them I’m sure, who only watch sports because they think certain players are hot (Exhibit A). Oh you think Case Utley is hot? Keep it to yourself! I mean, you can watch sports for whatever reason you want to, but don’t announce every time a player appears on the t.v. that he (or she) is a hottie and then say nothing else about the game the rest of the time. Here’s three simple steps on how you can not annoy me with this:

Step 1: Buy a poster of a good looking athlete

Step 2: Tape it to your wall

Step 3: Shut the fuck up

Sarah Palin

As if this election wasn’t enough of a side show, along comes everyone’s favorite MILF to give the 24-hour news networks another reason to exist. Virtually no one had known she existed until McCain picked her as his running mate, which was a brilliant move by the Republicans. Not only did all the media attention shift to her, but irrational feminists will want to vote for her to spite Obama for not picking Clinton. I mean, who cares if she would want to ban abortion and implement abstinence only sex education programs… she’s a WOMAN! And apparently that’s all that matters to these psychotic Hillary fans. Yeah, they’re not voters, but fans. Another thing about Palin that I find odd is how little political experience she has (governor of Alaska for 18 months? Fuck that shit), yet McCain has been ragging on Obama for not having any foreign policy experience. I’m probably beating a dead horse with this issue, but I’m really sick of the Republicans cheap tricks and the Democrats not growing a set and grinding her into he ground.

People who use Facebook to petition stuff (including Facebook)

It’s amazing how quickly Facebook has become so detrimental in interacting with other people. Though it is a powerful tool for building social networks and stalking, some people think that they can make a difference by creating groups and adding everyone in their network. What everyone tends to forget though is that NOTHING HAPPENS WHEN YOU JOIN A GROUP. Sure, you may post on the wall and look into the problem at hand, but eventually you’ll delete it six months later when you do your bi-yearly group cleanup. A few years ago however, in what may have been the most perfect example of irony, a Facebook user actually started a group to counter the hyper invasive news feed. Not only did it get 3,000,000+ members but Lord Zuckerman actually listened and toned the new feature down. But that’s the only time it will ever work. Now there’s all these groups popping up petitioning the new layout, but using FB to protest FB again may cause it to implode and disappear. Then how will we be able to post angled pictures of ourselves drinking beer and making surprised faces? Facebook already runs our lives… live with it.

Anything annoying you at the moment? Feel free to post a comment/rant.*



*Being annoyed by my blog doesn’t count but feel free to do so anyway.


1 Comment

Filed under complaining

One response to “things that are annoying me at the moment

  1. salmonheadsoup

    Ahaha, I know this post is about ranting about annoying things, but I couldn’t stop laughing the whole way through. Your Type 2 Diabetes, Step 3, Democratics’ ‘lack of a set’ and using FB against itself jokes have pretty much been the cherry on the top of my sundae. I can’t wait to read some of your other stuff now. (:

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