it’s evolution, baby

If working at the park system has taught me anything, it’s that humans are evolving backwards.

Exhibit A: I spent the good part of July 4th weekend cleaning shit. And I mean that in the literal sense. Last Wednesday I discovered, to my horror, that someone had shit in the sink in the southern most bathroom. My first reaction was denial; Surely, no one could be this unsanitary. What would inspire someone to do something like that? The next night was even better. One of the stalls in the park’s central building had poo all over the toilet and the floor, and on the floor the culprit had painted a smiley face. With his finger. In his own feces.

During both incidents, I thought, “Wait a minute… I went to college!” which made the situation even sadder. But that’s not the point.

Exhibit B is the VH1 show “I Love Money”, which may be the most deplorable excuse for entertainment I have ever seen. Like all other VH1 reality shows, they take “stars” from their other reality shows, ask them to leave what little dignity they had left at the door, and then have them beat the shit out of each other for money. I would go on more about VH1’s reality shows, but The Onion wrote about it better than I could have. What I love about VH1 is how they try to pass this garbage, along with other celebrity gossip, as legitimate issues. Their “Blog and Discuss” commercials ask viewers to have roundtable discussions about Britney Spears’ qualifications as a parent, and although she is all over the 24 hour “news” networks a few months ago, VH1 made an attempt to legitimize the issue.

Either way, I’m might just become a t.v. executive because from what’s been on television lately, it seems like the easiest fucking job in the world. And we just eat it up.

I’d like to take this opportunity to recommend the movie Idiocracy. It’s was directed by Mike Judge (Beavis and Butthead, Office Space) and thanks to Fox’s brilliant marketing (none), nobody saw it. And that just pisses me off something fierce. But after watching it, I can see why. The movie depicts exactly where our culture is heading: 500 years from now, the world is a mental and literal wasteland where the most popular show in America is called “Ow, My Balls.” That’s not too far from ‘I Love Money”. It’s one of those movies that’s dumb, but in a smart way. I don’t know, just watch it for yourself and then turn on the television. Mike Judge’s future is not as far away as you think.

I want to look on the bright side so bad, which is why I am only friends with people who I think are smart. It sounds elitist (and it is) but I’d much rather surround myself with individuals who think rationally and don’t like Larry the Cable Guy. I think I may be feeling bleak about our future since I just finished reading Kurt Vonnegut’s “Cat’s Cradle”. Humans are stupid, petty, mean, careless, and selfish. But they’re also beautiful, funny, caring, clever, and make beer.

Oh and real quick, here’s Exhibit C:

Um yeah, those San Diego stories… the weather was nice, the water park was fun, and I met a guy who invented the hologram and knew Hunter S. Thompson personally. That’s about it.


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