Okay so “Anyone Else But You” by the Moldy Peaches is pretty much amazing. Any song that fits the Konami code in its lyrics is a winner. Also, I started listening to Portishead again and I’m hyping their third album up so much. Last time got all worked up over an album was for Morrissey’s “Ringleader of the Tormentors” and that was a major letdown, save for two or three songs. (P.S. Who would win in a fight: Beth Gibbons or Steven Morrissey?)

College is winding down and I’m becoming increasingly paranoid. To tell the truth, I don’t know if I’m even graduating in May. My core curriculum classes (basically anything involving writing) have been fine. I know I can write. It’s the other bullshit classes that have me worried. I got an F in Geology last semester, which has the distinction of not only being my first F in my college career, but also holds the title for being the most miserable course offered by Kutztown.

Now in order to get my Professional Writing degree, I needed to pass this class. My major requires that I take 2 lab sciences and a non-lab science. Now why would I need three fucking science classes? Beats me. However, I am absolutely hopeless when it comes to science courses. If the subject can’t be explained to me in 30 minutes and in the form of The Magic School Bus, I’m lost. I just think it would very fitting if the downfall of my future was the result of a class about rocks. I would lol for hours.

Here is where it gets tricky: I will still have 120 credits by the end of May, which is enough for a “General Studies” degree. I could take this and run from Kutztown as fast as I can, or I could pray that a summer course materializes and take a different lab course like Astronomy. The only problem I have with this is 1) I have to take it at Kutztown, 2) we’re taking a family vacation to California at the end of June and the class can’t cut into that, 3) it will throw the job/housing search way off track.

The biggest problem is that I haven’t told my parents yet. They are hellbent on seeing me walk in May, and if I don’t then I’m pretty sure my dad will lose whatever patience and respect he had for me. Last year, when I told him that I needed another year, he looked completely crushed. I don’t think he could afford to put up any more money. Right now there are three of us in college and I’m pretty sure the college fund is running near empty.

It’s almost gotten to the point where I just don’t care anymore. If I wasn’t such a fucking idiot and just went to Rutgers, I’m sure life would’ve turned out very differently. Kutztown just brings me down so much. When I was driving back for the beginning of the semester, I was tempted to drive off the bridge that connects NJ to PA. I’m convinced that most of the people I know at Kutztown will not miss me when I leave. It’ll be like I was never there. I’m just the schmuck from New Jersey.

I’d be more than content if I worked at an independent record store in NYC for the rest of my life. I could submit jokes to SNL or Conan for extra cash and try my hand at stand up comedy (I certainly have the material, it’s more of a matter of not looking like a retard on stage).

No sleep ’till Brooklyn.


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