Yeah, just ignore these last few entries. Chalk it up to extreme boredom and overthinking dumb shit.
In lighter news, I’ve picked this song as the 2009 summer anthem:
July 2, 2009
my sweet lord
I decided that enough was enough, so I started preparing my laptop for a complete memory wipe. Sure, I will probably lose 60% of my music but it’s just sitting there doing nothing so I might as well live with the music that’s still on my iPod. As I was mentally saying goodbye to my files, I realized that there was no way to back up the 1,000+ pictures I had stored. So naturally I began looking through old pictures, seeing what I could salvage, and came to two startling conclusions. One, I can’t believe that in 2006 I rocked a full chin strap beard and hair down to my shoulders. Two, Krista and I took a lot of pictures. Like, over a hundred in a little less than a year. Yet there was one that stood out above the rest that pretty much captured the essence of our relationship: she looked lovely, and I looked like a goofy asshole. But that’s not the point.
I decided a while ago to stop being so damn sentimental (and I was doing so well) but for some reason I picked that picture as the sole survivor of the laptop cleansing. The picture doesn’t make me sad or mad or happy. It’s just funny, and that’s all I think of it. I don’t long for the time the picture was taken, nor would I reminisce about it with Krista. And I think it’s because the two people in the picture don’t exist any more.
It’s strangely comforting, but at the same time it makes me wonder what compels us to hold on to bits and pieces of the past no matter how much we want to move on. Do we just naturally not want to forget things? It may explain why my grandparents have documented every facet of our family’s life (”You want to prove you were there!” as my grandpa would say).
Lately it’s been the opposite of that. You live through events and you meet new friends or lovers, yet there’s no reason to document every single thing that you do.You don’t know how it’s going to turn out in the end. And when it’s all over, the necessity for living proof can either kill you or make you smile.
OK, I have no idea what point I was trying to make here, but I had to kill time while my laptop’s hard drive was being erased. Sorry if it doesn’t make any sense.
June 27, 2009
breaking the broken
Oh lord, I originally wrote something terrible and depressing so in lieu of that, here’s a GIF picture from Arrested Development.
June 15, 2009
the bleeding heart show
Some people have pretty lofty goals. Whether it be President of the United States, a successful entrepreneur, or a whale sperm collector, everyone wants to fulfill their fantasies. I, on the other hand, want to create the perfect mix tape.
When you think about it, mix tapes are a form of currency. They can make or break your chances with the object of your affection, so the better the quality, the better chance you have of getting that sweet, sweet lovin’. I now give you some handy tips for making a great mix tape.
1. Stay away from commercial radio songs
Sure, you may play it safe pick a popular love song that everyone knows, but it’s not a very original choice. Dig into your music catalogue and find something that reminds you of the guy/girl you like. The more unknown the song, the better. But at the same time, don’t pick something too avant guarde (you’re testing the waters here, so don’t put on any Animal Collective songs unless you know they’re into them). Remember, the amount of effort you put into finding good music is proportionate to the amount the recipient thinks you like them.
2. It should be no longer than 12 songs
I’m sure you can think of more than a dozen songs to put on a mix, but it’s best not to over exert yourself. Too many songs could make it seem like you’re trying too hard, so 12 is a conservative number. If you want, pick about 20 or so songs and then whittle it down to the best of the best. You want it to be directly to the point, yet long enough to play multiple times without getting redundant.
3. Don’t include on “Love Song” or “Just Like Heaven” by The Cure
Don’t get me wrong, these songs are fantastic. But including these on a mix is a classic mistake, because everyone knows them. And while The Cure are one of those bands that straddle the line between commercial rock radio and indie-dorm room introspection, including these songs is just laaaaaazy. Might I suggest “Close to Me” or “Doing the Unstuck” instead?
4. Make it upbeat
Meaningful, delicate love songs are integral part of the mix tape canon, but you don’t want it to turn into a snooze fest. Throw a curve ball or two! Add a few upbeat songs that you like, and think the recipient will like as well. You have to make it fun to listen to, because you want to come across as fun, don’t you?
5. 1,000,000 bonus points if you actually put it on cassette
If you know the recipient owns a cassette player, then you know what to do. Everyone has a soft spot for analog, and they take much more time and effort to make. Trust me, it’s worth it.
6. Decorate the case!
Made a great mix? Cool, but your work is not done. You can’t just hand in a tape/CD with just a track list, you need to give it some flavor. Even if you can’t draw for your life (i.e. ME), stick figures telling inside jokes is good enough. Just make it personal.
In conclusion…
Once you’ve completed your masterpiece, turn it over to your crush and pray to whatever deity that’s convenient that you’ll score a date. There’s nothing like that anxious feeling you get when you’re waiting to hear back from the person you like once you’ve put your feeling out there in a 45 minute playlist.
And what if your crush doesn’t like your mix? Fuck ‘em, that’s what.
A real post is coming soon.May 26, 2009
one day goodbye will be farewell
Sentimentality is a disease that attacks your brain and tricks you into thinking that tomorrow will be like yesterday. It may also give you explosive diarrhea.
It takes a while before the obvious hits me, so I kind of feel like a huge idiot all of the time. But for years I had kept this cigar box (which was upgraded to a small wooden chest) of old girlfriend memorabilia, usually one thing to represent each girl. They were really just random things like drawings, inside jokes, maybe two pictures. And of course there is Krista’s magnum opus, the compilation of hilarious/disturbing sketches she drew for me throughout the course of a year, put together in a handmade book.
None of these items mean anything. These are memories of girls who have moved on with their lives and sure as hell don’t wax nostalgic about me. Can you imagine someone holding on to a random trinket that I gave them, like is was supposed to symbolize something more? Me neither.
In all honestly I don’t even know why I still hold onto the box. I rarely ever open it. It’s just sitting under my bed collecting dust. In light of that, I’m pretty sure I’m going to throw its contents in a bonfire. There’s no use in holding onto tangible memories when they don’t bring any joy. I guess I’ve realized that it really is the thoughts that count.
Now if you excuse me, I need to prepare the kindling. Roasted marshmallows, anyone?
Actually, I’m going to spare the sketchbook.
May 22, 2009
on the guillotine
Once again, I’m falling back into old habits. I’m slowly starting to accept that I need a change. Like, a big one. Plus I think everyone here is starting to get fed up with me.
When my aunt and uncle come to visit next month, I’m going to ask about coming to California.
Lastly, I like this picture very much and all of you should too:
